Tag: truth

5 Reasons Detachment Can Save Your Relationship

As originally published on MindBodyGreen

5 Reasons Detachment Can Save Your Relationship

When most people envision the ideal relationship, they think of engulfing, inseparable love. Being “attached at the hip” is typically an early sign that you and your new love share the ever-consuming, romantic high of a Nicholas Sparks novel.
You want to keep learning about each other, acting as sponges to the other’s every word and affection.
So, how in the world can detachment actually strengthen an intensely loving and growing relationship?
Detachment is one of the most important aspects in achieving true, profound fulfillment. Believe it or not, practicing detachment while remaining vulnerable will benefit you in remarkable ways.
Here are some of the ways detachment can help you: 
1. You’ll worry less. 
Worry can be seen as somewhat of a wasteful emotion, similar to fear. Both are negative, anxious feelings attached to thoughts that do not exist because they have not yet occurred. Why waste your precious mental energy on something that hasn’t even happened yet? If you worry because of past experiences, remind yourself that this (and every moment from now on) is a brand new, unrelated experience. Learn from the past, but don’t allow it to hinder your future. Detach yourself from any fear or worry, express gratitude for the present, and watch your tension and anxiety fall away.
2. You’ll accept more. 
When you detach yourself from “what should be” or “what could be” and focus on what is, you open a whole new door into the splendor of acceptance. Take a moment to acknowledge what you hope for the future, and then release the thought into the universe. Have faith in the direction that your life (and your love) will go. Simply remember: What will be, will be… and no amount of dwelling will change that.
3. You’ll have increased productivity. 
With less time spent on burdensome thoughts or tasks, it leaves more time to live your life (and savor your love). When the mind is swirling with what-ifs and worry, it takes away from enjoying this very moment. It’s amazing how much time is lost on “shoulda-coulda” thoughts. Realize when these thoughts begin to consume your mind and ask yourself, how is this affecting me in this very instant? How is this affecting my relationship? Can I be doing something else right now to benefit myself?
You will see that by allowing your mind to drown in too much thought, you are only wasting the time you have. Stop brooding and start living. You will thank yourself later.
4. You’ll achieve peace of mind. 
The instant you recognize what detachment really means and how it feels to practice it in your daily life, it will feel like a huge breath of fresh air. You will feel empowered, enlightened, and grateful. The beautiful thing about this is how it can change your life: Purely by redirecting the thoughts in your mind from obsessive and concerning, to appreciative and blissful. Your face will shine and you will be more pleasurable to be around… And who doesn’t want to be in love with someone who exudes love and inner peace?
5. Experience more love.
I deeply believe in the Oxygen-Mask Theory in all aspects of life: you must truly love and accept yourself first, and know you are deserving of it, in order to provide your best self in any relationship with anyone else. Otherwise, you are not only being unfair to yourself, but unfair to your counterpart. Just as your sweetheart deserves to be happy and unconditionally loved, so do you. Remind yourself of that every day.
Detaching ourselves from certain emotions, especially those intensified within a romantic relationship, becomes much easier once you realize that emotions are only temporary. Life is a series of change; this includes the change of your significant other from who he (or she) is now, to whom he or she will be in ten years.
Circumstances are temporary, frustration during difficult times is temporary, and even expectations are temporary. Unconditional love and acceptance are the only worthwhile constants. Choose to focus on the constants and detach from ever-changing emotions, and see your love life (or even single life) flourish more than ever before.

Discipline and Nutrition

I was going over a piece of reading material in my arsenal, the NFPT Fitness Nutrition Specialist Manual, and came across a great section entitled Discipline and Nutrition. It relays my personal perspective on the subject almost perfectly, as well as my personal practice with clients (and friends) regarding nutrition, diet, training, and reaching their goals. I only hope all fitness, health, and nutrition professionals feel the same! …

“Let us equate your pet’s diet to your own, or to that of one of your clients’. While it is almost certain that pet food is less palatable than let’s say, a steak, or a slice of apple pie, a properly raised and well-disciplined pet, having never tasted steak or apple pie, will want for nothing. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have been born into a world where junk food and dietary temptation never even existed? We too then, would want for nothing. We would eat simply for the purpose of sustaining our body’s dietary needs, and never be faced with making that decision between cookies and grapes. We would be eating nothing but natural healthy foods just like our ancestors, and just like our bodies were created to eat.

Imagine the difference junk-free eating would make in all of our lives. Hundreds of thousands of people around the world currently suffering from every possible diet related disorder ranging anywhere from high blood pressure to diabetes; from depression and low self-esteem to the hyperactivity common in our children brought on by hypoglycemia; from cardiovascular diseases to obesity. Just think of how difficult it would be in terms of breaking habits and unlearning eating behavior to go back to totally natural foods. While this may seem somewhat unattainable, as a fitness professional, you need to make the effort. It will take you a long way down the road to client respect and success as a fitness professional to do so.

The toughest part of eating right is in the early stages when the very thought of all your favorite foods affect your taste buds. And, like it or not, the real problem doesn’t exist solely in your mouth, but more so in the back of your mind. No, not the deep subconscious either, rather in certain centers in the brain that are specific to causing physiological responses such as salivation, at the very thought or sight of different foods. You would be amazed to learn how much money actually goes into psychological research in putting together television advertisements for foods. The sole intention of this research is to manipulate regions of our minds in order to sell us a food product.

As you can easily see, you are definitely fighting an uphill battle all the way in declaring war on junk food. Only the strong willed, and the incredibly disciplined even stand a chance for success in establishing and maintaining life-long healthy eating behaviors. Only through effective and continued short-term goal setting, a serious and strong source of motivation, and a crystal clear vision of your ultimate achievement, can you ever hope to survive the arduous drudgery of taste bud denial in the preliminary stages of this dietary transition.

How long do you have to stick to a bland, healthy diet before you lose this taste for junk food? The answer is simple… as long as it takes. As is true with any worthwhile pursuit, if it means enough to you, you will do whatever it takes to get the job done. We all have our breaking point when it comes to healthy eating, too. Many people would prefer to have their skin slowly and quite painfully peeled away, rather than having to go even one night without their half gallon of ice cream. While others may be able to simply put the thought of certain foods out of their minds completely and focus clearly on their goals and visions of the ultimate achievement.

Strict dieting is therefore not for everyone, as we all have different levels of tolerance to the actions of the brain centers that actually control taste. This is obviously reflected in the emotional roller coaster ride many overweight Americans are currently on, seemingly at the mercy of their brain centers’ regulation of taste, and the resulting failure to consume fewer calories, and partake exclusively of healthier foods. If anyone has the motivation to succeed it would be the obese. One must also recognize that our society is not exactly conducive to weight control either, with all the psychological manipulation in the food service industry, outrageous portion sizes, confusing food product labeling, and many food labeling practices bordering on being fraudulent, it is almost as though the cards are stacked against those wishing to make a positive change to their dietary practices.

This chapter was not intended to suggest a willingness to accept a client’s inability to change his or her eating habits on your part, on the contrary, it is intended to encourage an element of patience, and compassion for these people. What may come easy for you may be next to impossible for someone else. These people need to know you’re on their side. No matter how frustrated you feel about a client’s failure to adhere to your dietary recommendations, you should always be supportive, compassionate, and most importantly, a friend!”