Category: Love

5 Reasons Detachment Can Save Your Relationship

As originally published on MindBodyGreen

5 Reasons Detachment Can Save Your Relationship

When most people envision the ideal relationship, they think of engulfing, inseparable love. Being “attached at the hip” is typically an early sign that you and your new love share the ever-consuming, romantic high of a Nicholas Sparks novel.
You want to keep learning about each other, acting as sponges to the other’s every word and affection.
So, how in the world can detachment actually strengthen an intensely loving and growing relationship?
Detachment is one of the most important aspects in achieving true, profound fulfillment. Believe it or not, practicing detachment while remaining vulnerable will benefit you in remarkable ways.
Here are some of the ways detachment can help you: 
1. You’ll worry less. 
Worry can be seen as somewhat of a wasteful emotion, similar to fear. Both are negative, anxious feelings attached to thoughts that do not exist because they have not yet occurred. Why waste your precious mental energy on something that hasn’t even happened yet? If you worry because of past experiences, remind yourself that this (and every moment from now on) is a brand new, unrelated experience. Learn from the past, but don’t allow it to hinder your future. Detach yourself from any fear or worry, express gratitude for the present, and watch your tension and anxiety fall away.
2. You’ll accept more. 
When you detach yourself from “what should be” or “what could be” and focus on what is, you open a whole new door into the splendor of acceptance. Take a moment to acknowledge what you hope for the future, and then release the thought into the universe. Have faith in the direction that your life (and your love) will go. Simply remember: What will be, will be… and no amount of dwelling will change that.
3. You’ll have increased productivity. 
With less time spent on burdensome thoughts or tasks, it leaves more time to live your life (and savor your love). When the mind is swirling with what-ifs and worry, it takes away from enjoying this very moment. It’s amazing how much time is lost on “shoulda-coulda” thoughts. Realize when these thoughts begin to consume your mind and ask yourself, how is this affecting me in this very instant? How is this affecting my relationship? Can I be doing something else right now to benefit myself?
You will see that by allowing your mind to drown in too much thought, you are only wasting the time you have. Stop brooding and start living. You will thank yourself later.
4. You’ll achieve peace of mind. 
The instant you recognize what detachment really means and how it feels to practice it in your daily life, it will feel like a huge breath of fresh air. You will feel empowered, enlightened, and grateful. The beautiful thing about this is how it can change your life: Purely by redirecting the thoughts in your mind from obsessive and concerning, to appreciative and blissful. Your face will shine and you will be more pleasurable to be around… And who doesn’t want to be in love with someone who exudes love and inner peace?
5. Experience more love.
I deeply believe in the Oxygen-Mask Theory in all aspects of life: you must truly love and accept yourself first, and know you are deserving of it, in order to provide your best self in any relationship with anyone else. Otherwise, you are not only being unfair to yourself, but unfair to your counterpart. Just as your sweetheart deserves to be happy and unconditionally loved, so do you. Remind yourself of that every day.
Detaching ourselves from certain emotions, especially those intensified within a romantic relationship, becomes much easier once you realize that emotions are only temporary. Life is a series of change; this includes the change of your significant other from who he (or she) is now, to whom he or she will be in ten years.
Circumstances are temporary, frustration during difficult times is temporary, and even expectations are temporary. Unconditional love and acceptance are the only worthwhile constants. Choose to focus on the constants and detach from ever-changing emotions, and see your love life (or even single life) flourish more than ever before.

Totally Impromptu Banana Oat Pancakes

Most of my recipes are a result of someone saying, “I don’t have anything to eat”. That is one of my favorite things to hear, or I shall say, one of my inner-culinary-Macgyver’s favorite things to hear.

 

Cell phone photos go hand in hand with the frugal life of a Kitchen Macgyver.

These pancakes are a result of the mister saying just that after coming home from an appointment this morning… except he also expressed his craving for pancakes. Adding fuel to the fire, his concluding, “I have no idea what you would make them out of.. there really is nothing here, especially for pancakes.” The funniest part is that we have been through this numerous times. Even back to the very first time I went to his house, he said there was absolutely nothing to eat. Half an hour later, he sat down to homemade veggie bean burgers on Ezekiel with special sauce. You’d think he knew how it works by now, but I think he just plays along at this point due to, 1) how excited I get.. and, 2) getting to eat the (normally pretty yummy) end result. Yay for meeting your foodie soulmate.

 

Anyways, I digress. After scrounging through the kitchen cabinets, this is the result of today’s “there is nothing to eat” challenge. Totally Impromptu Banana Oat Pancakes.

 

Ingredients

¼ cup + 2 tablespoons Steel Cut Oats

1 tsp baking powder

½ tsp cinnamon

pinch of salt

2 tbsp corn starch

¼ cup whole wheat flour

¼ cup shredded mozzarella

2 tbsp baking stevia

½ tbsp butter (melted)

¾+ cup milk *I eye-balled it until a thick but pourable consistency was reached

1 tbsp almond butter

1 large banana, mashed up

Stevia, honey, almond butter, and butter to make it pretty once they’re done

 

Honestly, when I put these things together, it’s important to keep in mind I don’t always measure and am literally creating it with all I have in the kitchen at the time. I am pretty sure I remembered the correct proportions of ingredients… but definitely make sure to add more milk, if needed, since I just poured it in until a thick but pourable batter consistency was reached.

 

Mix the oats, baking powder, cinnamon, salt, corn starch, flour and shredded mozzarella together in a large measuring cup (I had a 16 oz one available). In a separate bowl, whisk together the butter, milk, stevia and almond butter. Pour the wet ingredients into the measuring cup and whisk until mixed. Then add in the mashed banana and whisk until all incorporated.

 

Heat a nonstick pan on medium-low heat. Once it is warmed up well, spray nonstick spray and pour about ¼ cup batter. These take a little bit longer than regular pancakes due to the steel cut oats (which added a great nutty texture and taste that he said made these so amazing), at least 3 minutes a side. Once the edges look dry and the top begins to slightly bubble, flip the pancake for another 3-4 minutes. You should end up with 6-8 golden brown, medium pancakes.

 

Garnish the plate with a sprinkle of stevia, drizzle of honey, and grossly romantic heart-shaped butters.